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DELL, THE COMPUTER FROM HELL (con't.)
If you do a lot of writing and spend hours in front of a computer every day and week, it is an important part of your life. It is like a car to a traveling salesman; he depends upon it. It either helps him or defeats him.

But there is a big difference between them; one is very simple to learn how to use it and to make it function. The other can be quite complicated. You take a car to a mechanic, for anything other than turning the key in the ignition and driving it. You're expected to learn a lot more in order to use the computer and you are also expected to perform some basic things to readjust it when it fails you, and even some very complicated operations to get it up and running again. I've heard of some people spending hours calling back and forth to Tech Support, frustrated beyond belief, until they can begin using it again.

That's why I say that when there is an inherent fault, the manufacturer has a serious obligation, and he should be the one to fix it, costly though it may be. We buyers are not obligated to accept the dictums of DELL and its executives. We did not agree to buy a faulty system. I claim that: DELL 4100 + ME is a faulty system, always has been, and should have been replaced FREE OF CHARGE. It is unstable. It contains too many errors for the average user to cope with without professional help, and that is unacceptable.

KUDOS TO HP! CEO FIORINI WON'T GET BUCKED OFF.
Now there's a smart CEO for you. Carley Fiorini gets word they have installed some faulty parts and she doesn't waste a minute putting the word out to her customers. (Michael, Oh Michael, Oh Michael, me bonny lad, she will not allow her customers to be had.)

That's my experience with the DELL-vil computer that I have? Almost 3 years later and a ton of grief, shut-downs, lock-ups, and so on, and I am still having them. Then, their Miss Sweeney tells me, "Well, we're not an automobile firm!" Thank God. What-ever car they'd have put that product in that year, the Lincoln Tunnel and the George Washington Bridge would have been tied up on a daily basis with lanes filled with stalled cars from computer breakdowns.

Carley didn't make the part, Intel did. But the two of them made the announcement, took their licks like a man, and boy, doesn't your trust in that firm go up 100%. Please note, Michael Dell. It's a good lesson for DELL Corp. in business ethics, at least in my opinion it is.

Michael, if there is one lesson that DELL should learn,
How you treat your customers affects what you'll earn!

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ME - THE TROJAN HORSE THEORY
What do I think about ME? It's like the Trojan Horse within the walls of Troy. When you're having constant problems with your computer over a long period of time and you've got ME installed, your enemy is within. You cannot get rid of the stomach ache until you get rid of what is causing it. My Dell 4100 has a tummy-ache, Windows ME. Lots of people had a Dell with a tummy-ache. That's a DELL-vilish problem, isn't it?

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MICHAEL RIDES AGIN’

When a fellers bin a'straddle
Since he’s old e’nuff to ride,
And he larns to throw his saddle,
On most any colored hide,
Tho’ it’s nuthin’ to take pride in,
Most fellers I have know'd,
If they ever done much ridin’
Has at differ’nt times bin t’rowed.

So I guess it’s bound to rankle,
When yer t’rowed and break yer ankle,
Still yer can’t keep on a’moanin,
And jest a’gripin’ and a’groanin’
Don't jest stay there where you're sittin',
Michael, don't you be a'quittin’
Next time yer got to do 'er right,
And jest...cinch up yer saddle tight!

Heironymous S. Anon-Y-Mous c.2004
(1st verse an "Anonymous" poem I copied into my notebook
almost 50 years ago.)

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ODE TO MICHAEL DELL
Michael, m’boy, you’ve screwed up my life,
That Dell computer’s like a naggin’ wife,
It’s always complainin’ that somethin’s wrong,
It’s always whinin’ that same old song.

When you installed that old Windows ME,
What it needed then was Windows XP.
To me M-E is unreliable,
And I think you’re totally liable.

Brandon has advised me to remove ME,
And just install again….what? Windows ME!
One day it can cause a FATAL stroke,
But FATALS a word that’s used by you folk.

Or performed an illegal operation
(That’s truly a scary aberration).
A phrase that’s just a total abortion,
By someone versed in mental contortion.

Oh Michael, oh Michael, oh Michael lad,
My story is long, my story is sad,
This computer came from Corporate Dell,
My computer from the bowels of Hell.
Ever, your most humble and obedient servant,
Howard E. Morseburg
16th of June, In the year of our Lord, 2004

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DELL CORP. & BUSINESS ETHICS
1) If DELL Corp., after installing hundreds of thousands of Windows ME programs in its computers, later discovers that these systems are flawed and should be replaced, is it obligated to notify the owners of the computers? That's a valid question, isn't it?

2) Is it obligated to replace faulty products, even though it was not the manufacturer, merely the purchaser and installer?

3) Does Michael Dell, CEO of DELL Corp., have an obligation to notify his Board of Directors about the problem, or does he bear any responsibility towards the purchasers of Dell Computers with a program either suspected to be or known to be unstable?

4) Since individual purchasers have absolutely no financial nor legal clout with the giant Microsoft, shouldn't Michael Dell use his strengths to assist his customers in gaining compensation for their problems with Microsoft ME?

This would be an excellent case study for a college course on Business Ethics, whether or not Micael Dell would be found lacking in such a test. (Most computer users do not have the technical knowledge to keep a faulty operating platform up to par. That often proves costly in both time and money when they're forced to seek outside help.

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DELL, THE COMPUTER FROM HELL. PICKING SENIOR'S POCKETS?
You give a Seniors less than they paid for and you're shafting people on fixed incomes. Many Seniors have a tough time learning how to use 'em. My sister paid $1,500 for hers and only got to use it for playing Solitaire. She's dead now, so guess it doesn't matter.

I only wish I had known about the inherent flaws in ME, and why my Dell 4100 Computer was not working right. I would have raised a big fuss, but I did not know, just blamed it on myself. Maybe Dell thinks that if they're struggling around all day trying to get the damnable thing to work, it's good mental exercise for them. I've decided to send cards to every writer on computers in every major newspaper in the country, see what they think about my problem. Gates & Dell should have replaced ME with XP long ago; they knew there were problems that the ordinary user could not resolve, expecially most Seniors (not those in High School or College dum-dum.. If they did not, then they should switch to selling hot dogs for the summer.

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HP MUST HAVE CALLED MICHAEL DELL. DELL WITH WINDOWS ME INSTALLED MUST HAVE SCREWED UP SCORES OF THOUSANDS OF CLIENTS. (DELL, THE COMPUTER FROM HELL.)
I sent copies of my poem, Dell, the Computer from Hell* to Hewlett Packard, from the CEO on down. I'll send more this week, and more the next week. *(Scroll down to read it.)

Why HP? Well, QUITE a number of times my HP printer or scanner has refused to run and I always thought it was due to the HP software, not realizing that this, too, could be attributed to Windows ME. Now that I understand more about it, it's the ME program by Microsoft installed in Dell computers that can also cause the peripheals to fail. So, Dell won't give me any satisfaction, but if this lousy ME program makes an HP product look bad, then I think that HP should get involved too. Perhaps they have some clout, because I certainly don't have any.

I guess they did take note of my letter, because about 20 cards and letters to Dell only produced a call from one guy, Brandon. This time, pronto, a call came from Sharon Sweeney of Dell Corp. and she mentioned the HP printer right off, so how did she know? HP must have called Dell and complained. Or maybe a PC Magazine reporter or columnist did so. Or the Attorney General's office. Or my Senator's office. Hmmmmm. Someone did get their attention, at last.

But Sharon also told me that a couple years ago when they got persistent complaints from others within the "warranty" period, they ssent them a credit for an XP update! What? Only those who complained? Sure, they screwed all the rest of us, because if they failed to notify all the rest of their clients who bought Dell computers that ME was faulty, then, in my opinion, they were screwing us over, but good.

But then, how many did they fail to notify? I mentioned the auto industry being required by law to notify ALL car owners when there is a fault that needs fixing. Her reply, "Well, we're not the auto industry." Right, Sharon baby, you aren't. Lucky you. Lucky you. It requires a government oversight to get Michael Dell and his company to do the right thing, the way it looks to me. I've been sitting here, thwarted, upset, for months and months because that lousy DELL needed millions more in profits for their execs to buy bigger yachts. May their Karma be a hole in the bow! Miss Sweeney told me that I definitely would not get anything further from DELL. Wow. That Miss Sweeney...she's a meanie.

No, I, like many Seniors, did not realize that Windows ME was at fault. I kept blaming my own stupidity. I did not bother DELL, nor go through those lousy phone trees and all that garbage. Okay, Michael Baby, my poem is on the Internet and it will make the rounds. I'll add to it. It would have cost you a $99 item you buy at wholesale to have been honest with me. Watch what it will cost now! Miss Sweeney also told me that any letter I write to you or any exec will not go to you, but straigt to her, that you're filtered. I figured as much, dear Michael. You will read it, sooner or later, somewhere. But so will thousands of others...DELL, THE COMPUTER FROM HELL. Read it below. (Wally, next door, just replaced his ME with XP because of all his problems. My daughter did two weeks ago.)

Me? All the problems I've had, the times my Guru has come to the house, the stress...now they owe me a new computer with XP!

COWARDLY CEOs HIDE BEHIND PHONE(Y) SHIELD.
Today's business world is a lot different than it was in my day. Customers were treated with courtesy, their complaints listened to, their letters usually received an answer, and they could speak to live people on the telephone. And, at least some of the Corporate executives were accessible. But all that has now changed, and not for the better.

Corporate executives today are like Kings and Emperors now, each with his own little feifdom, and underlings are often little more than serfs. The Executives have their privacy guarded by security teams, they're cut off from dealing with the real world by electronic devices that deny access to all but a select few. It's something like a King living in a castle, cut off from the common people. Surely you've noticed. Surely it has bothered you as well. Surely you've tried to dial a company office in order to make a complaint, only to be met with disembodied voices (Phone Trees, requiring you to complete a series of steps, only to often find that you cannot get the answer you desire nor contact anyone who can help resolve your problem. You hit a brick wall.

At times you might be asked to dial your party's special number, but AHAA, if you are not an insider who has been given that number, you simply cannot get through to their corporate offices. IT IS CLOSED OFF TO YOU AS IT IS TO ME. IT IS CLOSED TO ALL OF US WHO ARE BUT ORDINARY MORTALS. IT'S AGGRAVATING, CERTAINLY, BUT THAT IS THE STATE OF THE BUSINESS WORLD TODAY.

If you write a letter, you'll find that it probably won't be answered. Not a word. You don't have access to those you do business with, even by mail. There may be a chain of command, but you will be limited to one or two steps, usually one they call a CLIENT CARE (oh, yeah) REPRESENTATIVE, but that pip-squeak often makes the final decision and you have no right of appeal, or access to one higher up in the chain. Those to whom you wish to appeal to have all entrances to their domain blocked!

It's possible that they might even out-source your calls to India or Pakistan, and there, those lovely people won't even know the name of the CEO of the company they represent, which simply means that the CEO doesn't give a damn about you when it really comes down to it.

So, that's why I wrote a poem for DELL CORPORATION and posted it. DELL, THE COMPUTER FROM HELL (see below), because Brandon, of Client Care at Dell, made a decision for Dell and I did not agree with it. But, how could I reach higher on the chain of command, I thought, and then, "Perhaps a poem will help me do that."