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DELL, THE COMPUTER FROM HELL!
(DELL 6108BL01)
by Howard E. Morseburg
Listen, my dear readers, to this story I'll tell,
'bout a Dell-vil computer that made my life Hell.
It's a story that may bring a tear to your eye,
Or wish to hang yourself from a rafter on high.
With its' Windows ME, I've been nailed to the Cross,
It hangs 'round my neck like a dead albatross.
I've suffered from mistakes by Corporate Dell,
When that firm sent me that computer from Hell.

It had a Dell-vilish fickle mind of its' own;
I've had every problem for which MEs been known.
MSIMN WILL NOW CLOSE it says once again,
LEXPLORER WILL NOW CLOSE...it gives me great pain.
Time and again my efforts are blocked...
Because Windows ME has once again locked.
RESTART YOUR COMPUTER; for a minute...all's well,
But again it locks up, that computer from Hell.

Our trusted friend, WINDOWS, is blamed for this sin;
It's like fighting a war when the enemy's within!
As eighty years approaches and life's ending draws nigh,
My last wish is a computer that works...'fore I die,
One that's dependable as one ever can be,
One that's not suffering from Windows sickly ME!
Three years I have suffered, like Saddam's torture cell,
Trying to make sense of that computer from Hell.

Three years of frustration, for three years I have sworn,
Where there wasn't a cuss-word, a new one was born.
They told me I should uninstall Microsoft's M E,
Then re-install the same thing that's troubling me!
If I were Mister Michael, I'd sure die of shame,
That such a computer bore the family name.
I've taken the time to write Michael Dell,
Complaining to him 'bout that computer from Hell.

(I've checked the mailbox daily that's in front of my home.
But there's not been an answer, hence I wrote them this poem.)

Copyright 5/29/04 H.E.Morseburg

(NOTE:This poem refers to Dell Computer: 6108BL01. Any similarity to other products with Windows ME might be much more than coincidental. In fact, it might possibly be endemic, but I have only suspicions and personal reports, but no exhaustive pages of technical data nor polls to substantiate them. I can only testify to my own experience, and that of friends. My Windows ME program bears the following code: GTBKG FYYD7 YGGOG 997VE 9NCDC.
Other users have given me many negative reports, and some very knowledgeable ones have recommended I go back to Windows 98, which they claim is much, much, much more dependable.)

More poems? www.howardsviews.com
Click on: Morbid Poems for Morbid People

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MANY EUROPEANS DON'T GET IT. TO HELL WITH 'EM!
I'm proud to be an American. We've been doing good around the World for many years. I'm proud of what we've done. I've been following the news for almost 80 years now, and America has been most generous with its wealth, with its wartime assistance, with its industrial knowledge and in every way possible to both its' friends as well as its' former enemies. Not one country in the world can say that, not a single one.

Many Frenchmen simply don't get it, so to hell with 'em. They probably come from that province of Le Effete.I was over there about sixty years ago, and so were millions of other Americans; they liked us then. Why? They knew that they needed us. (Some areas of Le Havre had been bombed by the American Air Force prior to the invasion as they destroyed German installations, so some French people died in those raids. Those areas hated us and attacked American GIs if they wandered into the wrong part of town.)

But there are still millions of appreciative French citizens, those who understand our mission in the mid-east and our way of doing things, and they do approve of the United States. Those are the French citizens we love.

A lot of the English don't seem to like us, but a very large percentage of them do. They know that we were always there for them in the past and that the Colonies have come to their rescue more than once. To those that belong to the Panty-waist Party in England, the Hell with 'em too.

This coming Monday, Memorial Day, we'll be remembering all the American GIs who lie buried on Englsh soil and on French soil, who were on their way to Germany to help save England and free France from German tyranny. Many of them remember us for the good we have done. To the rest, a strong rasberry. I know Americans. I know what we're like. We've helped many countries remain free from tyranny and others gain their freedom from the tyrannical scourge of Communism. We're a good people, a kind and loving people. For those Americans who do not know who we are, like many of those dumb twirps in Hollywood, they can all go straight to Hell.

Many of the French and English hate us because we've been right so often, while they've been wrong. They hate to remember how dumb they've been. The problem is they prefer to remain dumb and keep working hard at it to stay dumb.

I'm proud to be an American and proud of the good we have done around the world. I hope that you're proud as well.

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DELL COMPUTER + WINDOWS ME = TROUBLE
I have written to seven or eight executives at Dell Corporation concerning the continuing problems I have had with a Dell 4100 and Windows ME, including several to Michael Dell, the CEO. of the company.

After experiencing an endless series of problems for months on end, I am sick and tired of it. They're never ending. My local Guru has spent hours adjusting things, tweaking them, to get me up and running again. When you consider the tens of thousands or even millions of people who have had to call in outside help when ME would not perform correctly, collectively that adds up to a lot of money.

They did have a Dell Technician call and we discussed these problems. His recommendation was for me to uninstall Windows ME and then he will guide me through a re-installion. Why? I'll end up with the same damn thing when I am finished as when I started. The same damn thing that has cost me hours and hours of frustration. I've even invented some new swear words along the way. If you are having a problem with ME, I'll include them in another Blog.

I told the Techie that essentially, if I had engine trouble with my car, he would be advising me to rent a hoist, undo the engine bolts, hoist the engine up, let it sit up there five minutes while doing nothing to it, then drop it back into the engine compartment, bolt it up again and pretend that I have improved things! I wrote this same interpretation to all these big-time executives who earn hundreds of thousands of dollars or even millions annually, just plain bunk.

He also told me that I can buy an XP upgrade and that would resolve the problems. No, I don't want this damn ME in it at all, even with an XP upgrade. I do not wish to build an XP program upon an ME foundation. Look, computers run your car today, right? Well, if they were as undependable as this Dell with Windows ME has been for me (and millions of other users), we'd have a traffic jam from coast to coast! Bullcrap, Mister Dell, that does not sound logical to me.

Microsoft says it is a Dell problem, because the Windows ME is in a Dell computer. Yep, if any part in your car gives out early, you go to the dealer, not the manufacturer of the part. DELL MUST KNOW FULL WELL THAT THEY SOLD AN UNSTABLE PROGRAM WHEN THEY INSTALLED ME, but they think we're going to buy another DELL with an XP program now? Michael, me dear boy, no way. No way at all.

I want a new computer with XP in it, a stable usable program, in it. I've had times when my computer was out of whack three days running, a total waste of my time and energy.

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DEFEATIST PRESS
We're fighting an implacable enemy, even though 99 of the Iraqis are sick of the war and move on with their lives. These fighters are small groups, either led by a religious fanatic Mullah or by a local Chieftan, either one of whom would be comparable to a Mafia Don in the U.S.

They're just extremely bloodthirsty, and the Arab world sees nothing wrong with the gruesomeness of some of their recent crimes. Think back, because the press in the mid-East did not do much complaining when Saddam Hussein was commiting his treacherous and murderous acts either. In fact, when Hafiz Assad ordered the leveling of a town in Syria in 1982 and killed every single inhabitant (more than 30,000), the adjacent countries didn't utter a peep. Thousands were killed in ?Syrian prisons in 1980, but that was also acceptable.

When Syria entered Lebanon, thousands more were imprisoned and died there, but again the Arab press was silent.

Now we're guilty of little more than "hazing", and although it is distasteful to most of us, it was not a major crime. Those guards in Iraq had many prisoners who were terrorists and dangerous, men who had killed and bombed others, but nothing is reported about that.

I sympathize with those young people who are now in trouble; they were over there on our behalf, and they are always at risk while there. Yet they did wrong, but not a great wrong. They will be punished for it, but I feel empathy for them.

Notice though, that the Muslims casually saw a man's head off, and prior to that they had ambushed, killed and then mutilated (by sawing off the feet and burning the bodies) four Americans working in Iraq, but the Media in those countries did not condemn those horrible atrocities. To most of the American press, including the Los Angeles Times, a big rasberry. May their reporters be buried up to their necks in camel dung for six weeks.

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SADISM VS TORTURE. STUPIDITY, UTTER STUPIDITY! Much of what I have read and seen in pictures has nothing to do with torture. It can be classed as sadism in some cases, and pure stupidity in others. I do not condone in any way the actions of a few stupid individuals who have blackened the names and reputations of some very fine military outfits and the men and women who belong to them.

Many of these prisoners, from their pleadings, sound more like illiterates, men at the bottom of the economic ladder, who are opportunists, thieves if the opportunity presents itself to steal, loot, or pilfer. They'll work if they find work, steal if they see something left unattended, loot if there is war and confusion, but essentially just trying to stay alive. I've seen them throughout the mid-East, and simply cannot understand what pleasure anyone gets out of beating them up or treating them badly.

On the other hand, there are still large numbers of gangs, tribal in nature, in Iraq, and they kidnap, torture, and do many things are worse than these American service-men have done. The Arab press, those media militants, ignore it when other Arabs kidnaps Iraqi doctors or professional people and torture them, or urinate in their mouths (read www.healingiraq.com ), cut off limbs, sever heads, and so on. We do need some Israeli-type justice for the Nicholas Berg killing, that I believe.

I too would apologize for that which our men have done that is wrong, but as I've said, we're not perfect and some of our men will screw up. Don't expect perfection, just that they do the best they can. Overall, we've got the best men and women in the world over there, and they've done a great job for Iraq and the U.S. Give them credit for that. No one could have done better.

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ONCE AGAIN, DON'T EXPECT PERFECTION. THEN YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED.
Saddam killed 300,000 men, women and children. The Arab World accepted that. He tortured thousands. The Arab work accepted that too. He started a few wars, and a million men died. The Arab world also accepted that. They obviously understand politics. At least politics in the Arab World.

But they also understand how to get to the Americans, especially our lily-livered wet-nurses, and our Liberals. Cry foul, foul, foul! Hey, it's easy. Hanoi Jane Fonda taught them how to do that. Our Pinko and Red professors led them through their paces. It's easy to defeat the Americans, sream and cry and beat your chest at how vindictive and savage they are. America's Liberals will take up the cry and help you out. America's commies will join in the hue and cry and do all your work for you; just sit back and watch.

We're miserable, right? We dropped the Atom Bomb on Japan. We were wrong. Bull-crap. We were justified and we were right to do it. They were working on their own version and they'd have dropped it on us. The boys who fought up those Pacific island beaches and saw their buddies mowed down agreed it was right. Those of us who were scheduled to head for the Pacific and participate in the invasion were damn glad the Bomb did the job and saved a half a million Allied lives, friends of ours, even us.

IS TORTURE EVER JUSTIFIED?
No! Now wait a minute and let's think. Supposing we had nabbed one of the 9/11 conspirators and knew that he was involved in something horrific, that it was only an hour or two from happening, and that even our President and Congress was at risk. Well, let me tell you, I'd take that s.o.b. into a windowless room, shoot out the camera, and have a nice talk with him. What if your family was at risk, like the families in Iraq, dozens killed and hundreds wounded, a daily threat?
If I catch two terrorists, I want to know where the others before they blow themselves and a dozen American soldiers up. Next day more. And then more. When you're dealing with thieves, you aren't going to win if you don't play by the same set of rules. You may not wish to admit it, but that's the way politics are played in the Middle-east, and war too! I want my guys to come home, not allow some terrorist to live so that he can be the next Saddam Hussein.

If you don't recognize that, bubba, then the Arabs with their Taliban buddies will be walking down Fifth Avenue whipping any female who shows a little bit of bare flesh. Well, at least the Welfare rolls will be pared and the out-of-wedlock births go down drastically, eh?

FRUSTRATED. TWO BLOGS WIPED OUT, ONE A HALF-HOUR'S WORK.
Something seems wrong with the new set-up and I cannot figure it out. I'll try again.

DON'T EXPECT PERFECTION AND YOU WON'T BE DISAPPOINTED
There isn't any organization in the World that is perfect. We'll make mistakes in Iraq, some serious, some not so serious. So far, I'd say that if we were being rated on an Exam, that we'd come out with at least a 95%. Not 100%, but 95%. If Iranians took charge of Iraq, what would they get as a rating? Freedom would be a lost cause.

What about Syria taking control? What are Syrian, Iranian, Egyptian or Moroccan prisons like? What kind of guards do they have there?

The ones who are doing the damage, the ones who are causing the Iraqi nation all of its' problems today, are Iraqis with a political agenda. To us, Religious organizations do not fight for control of the country. They may compete, but they do not stir up rebellions. The Muslim clerics seem to do just that, have a political agenda and a wish to rule over the people. Not to get them to Heaven, but to actually rule them.

No one is safe as long as those terrorist organizations are on the loose. They can't earn a 5% rating with ordinary Iraqis. The Arab press? A bunch of mongoloids with ball pont pens sticking through both ears!

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TIME MARCHES ON
A week ago Sunday, Joe died. Joe was 80, about ten months older than I am. I met Joe in January 1941, a month after the war started, a month after Pearl Harbor, a month in which the U.S. was getting its butt kicked by the Japs and by the German subs. My family had moved up from New Jersey to Connecticut, because Dad was working at High Standard, turning out machine guns for the Armed Forces. Joe and I entered Hillhouse High School the same day, just five months short of graduation, so we were in any groups, cliques, fraternities, on any teams, didn't know a soul but each other, and a very attractive brunette named Jan, who also joined the Class that day. Jan was popular right away, but we weren't.

Well, we graduated and Joe soon signed up with the Army and was trained to be a fighter plane mechanic. I had to wait until December 8th, when I was 18, to go back in the Merchant Marine. We kept in touch. In fact, we kept in touch for 63 years and I talked to Joe just a week before he died in the Veteran's Hospital in Hamden, Connecticut.

He never married. He took care of his father until he died at 92 and then lived alone. Never really scik, never a recluse but not socially active either, and always a sort of impish type of humor, slight, ever so slight digs, but not malicious.

He was working at an airfield as close to Japan as any at the end of the war. Drop the bomb? Hell, yes. On one airfield the mechanics had to grab rifles and beat off a Jap banzai attack, and after that Joe and the others called themselves, "The Fighting Mechanics". Drop the Bomb? Hell yes, Joe and the guys knew that there could be half a million casualties taking the Japanese homeland. He didn't want to lose his pilot in that final assault, or die at the hands of a Kamikazi pilot either. Drop the Bomb? Of course, with no regrets. He'd have pulled the lever himself, given the chance.

Joe decided to go, as he did not want any more pills, plugs, wires or tubes. He was only in the hospital a couple of weeks and he left me. A life-time friend, a real friend. I wrote a poem in tribute to Joe and I sent out four or five copies, but forgot to mail one to Joe. His sister wrote me to say they used it at the Funeral Service,and she was sure that he heard it. I am too, and I will tell you why in a later Blog.

Here it is:

THE GARDEN OF FRIENDSHIP
Howard E. Morseburg

I telephoned a friend the other day,
But the ‘phone rang and rang and rang away.
He often takes time to answer the ‘phone,
For he is aged and slow and lives alone.
But yet…something strange was bothering me,
A subconscious thought that wouldn’t let me be.
For somehow I sensed that all was not right,
That friendship’s long day was fading to night.

Our Garden of Friendship we’d tended with care,
So the flowers of trust would always bloom there.
We’d cultivated that Garden, the two of us,
By letter and ‘phone, by things we’d discuss
A friendship that’s lasted o’er sixty years,
Sharing our lives and sorrows, our joys and fears.
We’d walked in that Garden, ‘twas ours to share,
There friendship had flowered and sweetened the air.

The rose petals are now falling to the ground,
And they’ve covered the pathways all around
I found out last night his life might soon end,
When I called him…we talked, just friend to friend,
It wasn’t in sorrow, we let no tears fall,
During our long lives we’d covered it all.
We’d walked in that Garden each golden year,
Moving Onward, we know, there’s nothing to fear.

That Garden of Friendship requires your care,
It grows like a tree, strong and high in the air.
You till the soil, then plant seeds in the spring,
In summer you’ll find friendships flowering.
With kind words you’ll nourish the heart of a friend,
And like a tree…in a storm it will bend.
Where one friendship dies, another one grows,
It’s the story of life, a blossom, a rose.

Copyright 4/16/04 Howard E. Morseburg Dedicated to W.J.G.

Fess Parker's (Daniel Boone) wife, Marcie, called tonight and she was crying. I thought something was wrong. It wasn't. She had just finished reading my poem for my friend, Joe, Woodrow Joseph Gaudet, who died the last week of April, 2004, a patriotic American.