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AL QUAEDA APOLOGIZES FOR KILLING 8 CHILDREN

Dear Citizens of Afghanistan:

We, the governing body of Al Quaeda, do apologize for setting off a car bomb that killed 8 children on their way home from school, as well as injuring 50 other citizens of your country. We're really trying to kill Americans, but once again we missed. Therefore it is the Americans' fault for driving too fast past the car bomb. You understand, don't you?

We've also killed innocent Palestinians, Iraqis, and Saudis. Again, it is the Americans' fault. We cannot help it if the average suicide bomber is a rather dumb dipshit and kills the wrong people, can we?

The Americans could be a little more cooperative, and the world a little less critical. The only ones who really understand us are the anti-war protestors in the U.S.

To those who lost children, it is nothing, as Allah will bless them when they reach Paradise. They will receive the true blessing of 50 virgins after they reach the age of 21, providing they are not women or Lesbians.

After all, it was only a simple mistake.
Salaam.