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Dell's Computer from Hell, (cont.)!
DELL should have corrected the mistake!.  Build a castle for yourself and a ten story tower so you can view half of Texas, that's okay.  You do your thing and I'll do mine.  But to waste my time trying to resolve problems with a computer that your people know simply cannot be resolved, then, damn it, then I feel I've been cheated.

They stuck Windows ME in these computers, instead of the program my Computer was designed for..probably because Gates gave them "a close-out" price" I'll bet.  Imagine, they didn't install the Modem Drivers in my computer either, so I got the royal shaft there too.  The big problem is that many of us Senior Citizens do not have sufficient knowledge and experience to cope with these errors. But ME is even a big problem for computer Geeks! Everyone I know with ME figures they got royally screwed; Dell was not honest and didn't inform us of these problems.

Now, if anyone wonders why I take the CEO, Michael Dell, to task, I'll tell you.  These billion dollar companies have strict policies and they have blocks that prevent you (and guys like me) from bypassing them.  If you do not fit within their guidelines, because you've realized too late that you've gotten screwed, there is no way in hell that some hourly clerk is going to make an exception for you and risk losing his job, no way.  

Experience: I fought GM on my Greenbrier van back around 1961 for months on end and although it constantly broke down and was in half the Chevrolet dealer's garages in 7 western states, it wasn't until the telephone operator at GM in Detroit put me right through to the CEO's office one day that I got a brand new engine out of them for one with 47,000 miles on it. That original engine was a disaster.  So, when you want a decision made it's obvious, you must get to the CEO's office.  Until then I had dealt with Service Reps in major cities who lied and stone-walled me at every turn.  Corporations today are worse, they're almost impenetrable, and even a low-down manager is unavailable to an ordinary client like me. 

Michael Dell wears boots more expensive than this Dell Dimention 4100, but I cannot afford his hand-tooled fancy boots.  I ain't a'kissing them either. 
ODE TO MICHAEL DELL II
I'll do a new poem each week for ol' Michael Dell,
The CEO who brags that he knows how to sell,
List' Michael, it's an easy decision to make, 
Just tell your guys to quickly rectify this mistake.
I'm just wasting my time with this Windows ME,
You owe me a Dimension with new Windows XP!
Every few minutes a "Windows will now close,"
To tell you the truth, it's a real pain up my...nose.
Windows ME was the worst program from Bill Gates,
And like a virus its spread through all fifty states.
Like a tire with a bubble, it'll never be right,
I know there were millions like me in the same plight,
With Windows ME, Dell has given us the shaft.
I know where it belongs..and up to the haft!
It's not fair to cheat people with Windows ME,
And cheated they are, when it won't work properly!
I'd like to think well of the CEO at Dell,
But how can I when I've this Computer from Hell?
"Lexplore will now close" four times has popped up on screen,
While writing this last verse, then erases it clean.
Some gibberish appears, words that mean nothing to me,
That's just one more day with Windows complexity.
Oh to leg-chain this computer to Michael Dell,
And his sentence? "Life with that Computer from Hell!"

Well, them's my sentiments, that's my opinion. Any questions, Bubby? And, then my computer locked up and an hour's work was lost, so I had to do this all over again. That's just another day with my Dell. Soon, pictures of my Dell from Hell.

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DELL'S HELL CONTINUES.  11 YEAR OLD KID POINTS OUT THEIR MISTAKE.
Today an 11 year old kid told me that each Dell Computer is engineered for specefic programs and Dell puts a sticker on each one, at the front, bottom, with what is supposed to be in it.  Hey, mine says Windows 2000 or Windows 98.  What is in it?  Well it's stinky, lousy, unstable, wobbly shaky Windows ME.
 
Not only that, but since I got it, I've been using an external modem.  Why?  They did not install the modem drivers in mine.   Great production line there, Michael, me boy.
 
THANKS MICHAEL DELL, FOR THIS COMPUTER FROM HELL.
THANKS MICHAEL DELL, FOR THIS COMPUTER FROM HELL.
THANKS MICHAEL DELL, FOR THIS COMPUTER FROM HELL.
 
So, then I innocently asked, puzzled, "Well, why in the world would they do that?"
"Well, probably Microsoft was having trouble selling this unstable program, ME, so they called up Michael Dell and offered him thousands of them at a great price, and he bought them.  They just stuck them in the machines coming down the assembly line, and you got one of them."
 
Now, this 11 year old is one smart kid, logical, so smart that he amazes me.  Michael Dell should offer him a retainer and snatch him up as soon as the can get his work permit.  In ten years he'll put Michael out to pasture with the horse that threw him on his fanny or his head.  So, that's probably how I got stuck with this COMPUTER FROM HELL. THANKS MICHAEL DELL!
 
But, isn't this cheating?  Isn't this like sending someone a virus?  Only instead of coming from the outside, this viral infection, like the Trojan Horse, came from the inside.  We all got a royal screwing, courtesy of a deliberate act by DELL CORP.  A royal shaft.  I know.  I've got a computer without a Modem, and with an internal problem, Windows ME. 
 
I am going to write another poem for Ms. Fiorini.  I think she likes my poetry.

 

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WINDOWS ME - MILLENIUM EDITION OR MILLION ERRORS?
That's what I wonder, what ME really stands for. The other day, Mr. Lopez, of Dell (Computer from Hell) Corp. told me that there had been 40 critical updates to the Windows ME program. Now, take some little old lady who bought it (and hundreds of thousands of little old ladies did) and thereby got cheated by Microsoft, because how could they cope with it? It's impossible for them to have done so, absolutely impossible.

I did a "critical update" this week, and one of them simply will not "install." My GURU came over to see what was wrong and told me it is exactly the same thing he spent two hours on yesterday, on his wife's computer! It still does not work. He spent half an hour here today and it still does not work in my DELL (FROM HELL).

SCREWED, BLEWED AND TATTOOED BY DELL & MICROSOFT
A program that required 40 (THAT'S FORTY) critical updates is little more than CRAP, in my estimation (and that of millions of others). We got schnockered by DELL and Microsoft. Cheated. Screwed. Programs MUST be designed so that the average person, or a senior citizen (like me) can use them with ease! MUST!

OUTHOUSE EXPRESS
Please, take a letter Miss Jones, for Mr. Bill Gates,
Regarding: ME’s forty Critical Updates.
And please send a copy to my friend, Michael Dell,
The guy who stuck me with that Computer from Hell.
Tell him it just froze up again the other night,
Installing a Critical Update that just wasn’t right.
Just to have a Program that works, such foolish dreams,
Instead, it’s a patchwork quilt coming apart at the seams.

I’ve no degree as a Computer Engineer,
I’m a simple guy, one who enjoys a cold beer,
Who likes to send emails to a nephew or friend,
And surfing the Internet’s marvels without end,
For such simple joys, shouldn’t a computer be
Easy to use and virtually trouble free?
But then, I get this damn Dimension from Dell,
That I’ve finally named, the Computer from Hell.

I’ve been thinking of calling one segment…Outhouse Express,
Because when it locks up, it’s such a stinking mess,
My car gives me less trouble and it’s twelve years old,
While in three years Windows ME is ready to fold
It’s no longer supported by Gate’s company?
‘Cause they’ve too many problems with Windows ME?
Twelve hundred and more for a Dimension from Dell,
But what you get might be a Computer from Hell!