A REAL RAT RACE IN CALIFORNIA
Wow. What is it we have now, 158 candidates for Governor of California? Now I am not calling these people rats, because I am sure that most of them are very, very fine people. But, can you imagine anywhere else than in California where there could be more people in the running (and some more will still file, I think) than here in the land of the fruits and nuts?

Hell, I think that's more people than you'll find in the State of Maine in mid-winter!

Yep, fifty years from now parents will be telling their children, "Did you know that your grandfather (or great-grandfather) ran for governor in the year 2003?" By that time we may have outgrown the appellation of "the land of the fruits and nuts!" The kids may not understand that in 2003 just about anything could happen in California, and often did.

THE TERMINATOR
It only cost $3,500 to file, so pull out your credit card and go for it. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. You'll be in good company, and you can always say that you ran on the same ballot as Arnold Schwarzenegger. That alone should be worth the $3,500.

The real question is, will Arnold be able to terminate all the other candidates? After all, he's been coached on how to do it in the movies, so will he be able to do it in real life? You've got to hand it to him, with a wife coming from one of the strongest Democratic families in the country, here's Arnold setting out to give them a good bashing, and I hope he does. Maybe he can get his cousin, Danny diVito, to stump (no pun) for him.

Arnold must be quite a talker, quite convincing. Look, Maria Schriver was raised in the greatest stronghold of the Democratics in the whole country, in the Kennedy compound in Massachusetts, and she's been brain-washed since birth that all Republicans are the enemy. How did Arnold break into that fortress of Liberalism and take captive the lovely maiden, who was protected by the famous Kennedy Nights of the Round-table?

With a coup like that, he may well turn out to be a wily candidate and fool them all, and be the first governor of the state with a split slate: Schwarzenegger/Kennedy-Schriver.

ARIANNA HUFFINGTON-PUFFINGTON
Then there's that lady with the Greek-Socialist education, the one who thinks a lot like Hillary, you know, "It takes a village (read: government) to raise a child", like what's going on in Cuba today. She's so anti-Republican, so anti-Administratoin, so anti-Bush, so anti-Big Business, so anti-Doctors, and so pro-socialized medicine that I don't even understand why or how she lists herself as a Republican, except as a Trojan horse (but then, she is Greek, isn't she?).

Ol' Huff and Puff has been attacking everything in Washington for so long now, that one should have little doubt about where she stands. She thinks that the government should take care of your kids from about age 3, including all medical needs, and that this will resolve all the country's problems (or California's).

That's exactly what Fidel Castro is doing in Cuba today, you know, the guy who insisted on getting little Elian Gonzalez back from Miami, the kid Janet Reno sent armed troops into a private home to recover for Fidel. Great Balls of Fire, Sandy, don't you remember that? The government owns the kids in Cuba! Should the government own them here in California too?

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